My requirements for a religion:
- no special hats required, I look bad in a hat.
- no requirements to hate certain groups of people, I already hate enough people as it is.
- no requirement that the clergy remains celebrate, seems to bring in a weird crowd.
- heaven sounds nice but entrance requirements should be easy.
- free will, god doesn't predetermine day to day affairs. He doesn't intervene in football games and determine who wins based on prayers. Now if something really bad is about to happen, like a comet hitting the earth, yeah, please give us a helping hand.
- pork is allowed because bacon is delicious.
- acceptance of scientific theories and facts like evolution, gravity, spherical earth, and planetary orbits. Intolerance for Einstein's theory of relativity is OK since I think it would be cool to travel faster than light.
- a religion that is mostly tolerated by the rest of society. I don't want to be persecuted if times get tough.
- no requirement to read translations of poorly written iron age texts.
- mammals (maybe birds too) should be allowed in heaven, it would be nice to see my childhood pet dog.
- minimal number of meetings.
- no beard required, I have these bare patches that just won't grow hair, makes me look mangy when I try to grow one.
- no genocidal floods, famines, plagues, fires, etc. because humans are misbehaving or not showing god enough respect.
- no requirement to indoctrinate others in my belief.
- gift giving holiday is nice, kids really like it.
- god doesn't ask a parents to kill their children.
- caffeine, marijuana, and alcohol consumption is allowed.
- women are allowed to drive cars, vote, go to college, and wear whatever they want.
- limited number of stunt miracles. Turning bread into fish is cool and a useful source of protein, but walking on water is just too showoffy.
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